FAMILY
I was young, met a guy on vacation, and got pregnant. I decided that I wanted a family, so we got married. I was 21 at the time. It was abuse every day. Many people told me to leave, but I wanted a family, one husband for life.
Throughout my pregnancy, we were on the verge of breaking up, and I felt like I was living on a suitcase. Our daughter was born. Then he went to live and work in another country, and I stayed in his parents' house. They, too, were constantly abusive. They forbid me from socializing with anyone and kept me at home. I wanted to leave, but they said, "Leave on your own and leave the child."
JEALOUSY
My husband was insanely jealous. I couldn't even go to the store. He forbade me from working, even though I had good job offers. Once I went to get a job, but he followed me and embarrassed me there - "Who did you sleep with to get this job?" I couldn't even go to driving school, even though I had already arranged it. He accused me of sleeping with the instructor and caused another scandal. I couldn't do anything. When I was pregnant, he slapped me in the supermarket because he thought I looked at someone the wrong way. I was really even afraid to look at people; he simply ate me psychologically.
"DAD, AUNT, BOO, BLOOD"
I invited my brother over for a visit, as he needed some rest and I craved the company of my loved ones. A week later, he arrived, and soon after that, my sister came too. I needed some time off, and I wanted to gather my family together. We had a great time, going to the beach and relaxing.
One evening, I was working the night shift, and my sister and brother agreed to meet me after work. At that time, my husband, my daughter, and I were all living together in a studio apartment. We always invited him to join us for tea, but he would always refuse, getting angry instead. He didn't like that I wasn't alone anymore. Apparently, his aggression turned to my sister for helping me. That evening, when I came out of work, I saw my husband and daughter, who was two at the time, standing there. I noticed fear in her eyes, and she was sobbing. I asked her what happened, and she said, "Dad, Aunt, Boo, Blood, she fell."
I went inside, and on the stairs, I saw blood. I went into the apartment, and there were policemen sitting there, laughing. I looked at my brother, and he was trembling. He told me that my sister was taken away by an ambulance. They were planning to come with me, and my daughter wanted to join too. They wanted to take her with them, and my husband hit my sister. He immediately ran to the neighbor downstairs, got some vodka, poured it on her, and said she fell on her own.
My husband, a boxer, hit my sister in the face, and the right side of her face went numb. But the police did not take her statement. We decided it would be best for us all to leave and find some peace elsewhere.
WE TOOK OFF
I called my husband and told him that we were leaving and our daughter was coming with me. He said "Okay". We took off. Upon arrival, I called my husband again and told him that we had arrived and everything was good. I called his parents to let them know that my daughter and I had arrived. But later, my husband started calling and demanding that I return our daughter. He threatened to report me missing. But then he offered me to just come and pick up our daughter's things.
YOU ARE DETAINED UNTIL TRIAL
I returned to Cyprus with my sister, leaving my daughter with the nanny. At customs in Cyprus, they said to me: "Oh, you're the one who stole a child?" At first, I thought the customs officer was joking. He joked with my sister first, so I thought he was joking with me too. Then he said, "Come with me." It turned out that Interpol was looking for me. My husband had filed a report against me, claiming that I had stolen our child and his belongings. I was detained. The investigator said that they would just take my statement and release me. But it turned into a nightmare. I was accused of stealing my daughter, gold chains, and pots. They started to attack me aggressively. I asked for a translator. A translator came and saw that they were almost attacking me. She told me, "You are detained until trial."
I didn't know who to call. Shortly before this incident, I met a man by chance who had connections in Cyprus. I decided to call him because I didn't know who else to call. He came, found me a lawyer, and the trial began. I was taken to the central prison. I wrote to the Russian Consulate, asking for a psychologist, and help, I didn't know what to do, but they didn't respond.
IN PRISON
I'm sitting in a cell with a fifty-year-old prostitute named Natashka, and surprisingly, she's the one who's been supporting me. She talked to me a lot, joked around, told me funny stories from her life as a prostitute, and lifted my spirits. For five days, I was locked up with thieves and murderers, and it was very scary. I just didn't understand why I was there; everything felt like a bad dream, completely unreal, and the days dragged on endlessly. I was dying of longing for my daughter and the fear of what awaited me, and the injustice I had faced.
COURT
The court ordered my release on bail of €50,000. Then it turned out that it was a mistake made by my lawyer who was incompetent. I didn't have €50,000, and once again, this chance acquaintance helped me out. He posted bail for me, took me to a free apartment, and gave me a car with a driver to go to court.
This new acquaintance was very helpful to me. He turned out to be my guardian angel. They took away all my documents, and my husband brought our daughter to Cyprus. Our lawyers started meeting. I had to go to these meetings in different cars, so my husband wouldn't track me. I wore clothes without pockets and didn't bring a bag. My lawyer told me to do that because he was afraid my husband might plant drugs on me, and then I would definitely lose the case.
LEGAL BATTLES
It went on like this for over a year. At first, I saw my daughter once a week, then twice a week. My husband suggested I come back as an option. But I knew that if I went back, they would either kill me or pump me full of drugs, and that would be the end. There was surprisingly a lot of sudden help from various random people. My husband attacked me and continued to file reports with social services, claiming that I slept with everyone and that I was an alcoholic. I told social services, "Open your eyes, I'm a young girl fighting for my daughter! What alcoholic would do that?" They said that I would see my daughter if I rented an apartment and got a job. I still had no documents. But I did everything.
I couldn't leave my daughter with my husband. He continued to live his life, not needing her. And then, once again, my husband hit me. I went to the hospital to document the injuries. After that, our lawyers reached a settlement agreement, according to which our daughter stays with me with mandatory meetings with her father.
My husband would call our daughter on Skype, and she would get very nervous. I moved to another city. My husband attacked me and started threatening me. I wrote a statement against him and filed for full custody in court. My lawyer urged me to also file for child support, but I refused. I just wanted it to end soon, and for my daughter to stay with me. His relatives sometimes called, sent money for our daughter, and asked to talk to her. But she didn't want to, and over time, my daughter asked not to talk to them or her father.
AFTER PRISON
The day I was released from prison is one I will never forget. I became a completely different person - someone who values, respects and loves herself. I promised myself that I would never allow anything like that to happen to me or my daughter again.
I wasn't myself before. This whole experience made me who I am now - strong and fearless. I am still grateful to that prostitute, Natasha. It was very scary in prison, and no one was there for me, but she supported me. There were moments when I had just been released from prison and I wanted to end my life, but the thought of my daughter stopped me. What would she think of me when she grows up? That I was selfish and didn't stand up for her and just ran away from the situation? There were other temptations during that period too - alcohol and drugs were nearby.
I have wanted to tell this story for a long time because I often come across similar stories. I want to help and support these women. It's very difficult to leave an abusive relationship. Less than 10% of women leave such relationships. It's very hard to realize that you are in danger because you often think, "Well, he doesn't hit me, there are worse situations out there, no one died." When you think that things aren't that bad, it's hard to leave. And when you do leave, if you do, you realize that before that, you weren't really living.
