I EXIST
The Together Forever Foundation, of which I am the director, is dedicated to helping children with neurological disorders, such as epilepsy, hydrocephalus, Spina Bifida, and cerebral palsy. For the past six years, the foundation has been helping these children by handling particularly difficult cases, raising money for treatment, and sending them to clinics in Europe, America, and Israel.
I was born with neurological problems myself. My mother had a difficult childbirth, and during the first six months of my life, my parents worked tirelessly to take care of my health. I am very grateful to them for their help.
Overall, I have not been the picture of health throughout my life. My mother took great care of me, sometimes excessively, but I was truly on the brink of life and death, so I understand why.
Through my sister - who organized concerts - I have been interacting with celebrities since the age of 13. I used to accompany her to dressing rooms, so I don't feel a barrier between me and the "greats." Thanks to this experience, I am surrounded by many cool people, and they see me too. Well, and a sense of humor really helps me in life.
DAD
After university, I wanted to go study in Germany. It was at that moment that my dad left the family. We were very close, and he was the first one to tell me about his departure. He couldn't confess to anyone else. I felt sorry for him, and for my mom. She didn't expect it at all. I was living in between two fires, it was a very difficult period. Since then, I haven't been able to trust men completely, and I'm still working on it. My older sister couldn't fully support me either, as she was having her second child. So, my dad and I were kind of alone in this situation, and it really broke me. This situation prevented me from leaving abroad. But I always wanted to. I never considered myself fully Russian, I always wanted to leave, even though I love Russia.
SKOLKOVO
As fate would have it, I always worked in marketing and communication with people, and customer service is one of my favorite fields. After many years in advertising agencies, I was offered a job in education. It was the second big decision in my life - to work at the Skolkovo School of Management.
I really liked it at Skolkovo. I worked there for seven years. I built a community of graduates with graduates. It was very valuable to help each other, even if we didn't know each other personally. Being a "Skolkovo person" means being cool, responsible, reliable, and having the highest level of trust among your peers.
MADRID
Four years ago, my sister moved to Madrid. I went to visit her and realized that this city was the perfect fit for me. It seemed too good to be true. At first, I didn't believe it was real and thought it was just the charm of being a tourist. But when I came back for a second time, I knew that I wanted to live in Madrid, even though everything in Moscow was going well. Whenever I'm there, my soul and heart belong to the city, and I feel absolutely happy.
Everything was set, I had arranged to work remotely, was learning Spanish, and was packing my bags when the pandemic hit. Half of the school staff was laid off, and I lost my job. I couldn't travel to Spain, and I didn't know what to do.
COVID
I thought that COVID would be over soon, and I could leave. However, as time passed, I began to lose my savings gradually. I was in limbo for a long time, and COVID continued for four months. I was forced to stay in Moscow and look for a job again. But I fell into a deep depression – I didn't feel like doing anything, couldn't sleep, and my day and night rhythms were disrupted. In this state, I broke my leg three steps away from my osteopath's office, my knee just snapped. She said to me, "Something is wrong, Tanya." I was bedridden for a month and quit my job, which was absurd. I then found another absurd job and got sick with COVID five days later.
I spent ten days at home, and everything was stable and okay. But on the eleventh day, I collapsed and called an ambulance. I thought I was having a heart attack. It turned out that I had 85% lung damage, even though two days before that, a doctor had visited me, and I had a CT scan, which showed that everything was normal.
I DON'T WANT TO DIE
I'm lying in the ICU, surrounded by people dying. It's incredibly scary. You're talking to someone one minute, and the next, they're taken away and never come back. You realize at any moment, the same thing could happen to you. You're forced to analyze your life and think about how you've lived, what you've done, and what else you want to do. And the first conclusion I came to is that I don't want to die. Not because I'm scared or because I have someone to live for - I was alone, without children - but because I know there will be something worth living for in the future.
AFTER COVID
After leaving the hospital, I still didn't feel better. COVID can expose neurological conditions, and my hands were shaking so badly I couldn't even hold onto dishes. I couldn't sleep, and I couldn't take deep breaths because it felt like there was a constant lump in my chest.
I begged my loved ones to just talk to me, to not leave me alone with these thoughts, even though I consider myself to be a very positive person. And once again, I'm grateful that my brain kicks into gear during these moments, and I immediately start calling on different specialists who can help me and surround myself with them.
THE CHARITY FOUNDATION
A friend from Skolkovo offered me a job at a charity foundation that helps children. I volunteered for various organizations, I helped cats and dogs, however, I haven't had any experience in working with children. Seeing a child dying is beyond my strength. "The foundation changes people's lives, and you also change people's lives. I think you need to complement each other," N. told me. I thought they were some kind of sect, but for the sake of my friend, I decided to think about it. I wrote a work plan as I saw it and sent it.
We agreed that I would come for two days to see it. I arrived. I sit in horror from the garbage, from the heat in Cyprus, and in my head, "Why Cyprus?" And then, "Actually, you asked for this three months ago. You were in a completely different state, wanted to change everything, and do it with meaning. And here God just reaches out his hand and gives you everything on the list, everything new." I realized that if I refuse now, I won't just break a leg later, I won't recover at all. I knew that the decision was already made, signed the contract, and cried for three weeks.
CYPRUS
Back in July, after my hospital stay, my mentor told me: "You should go to Cyprus, recuperate, gain some resources - it's the perfect place for that. Let's go there, and then you can think about what to do next." At that time, we weren't even talking about Cyprus. But now that I'm here, I find this island to be magical, with its enveloping care, comfort, and warmth. I am grateful to the foundation because every person has a need to do good, and they can do that here. I see people shining in these moments, and it gives me goosebumps. And when children send us their heartfelt videos and messages of gratitude, it's just heartwarming. Many people help not only with money but also with organizing events. I'm glad that the foundation gives people the opportunity to help others. My favorite moment is when you tell someone, "Your application has been approved, you're in the program!" - it's the most touching and important moment, as you bring hope to people.
ANGEL
Before my hospital stay, I wanted to adopt a dog from a shelter. I found one in Serbia - it was just a coincidence. I and a volunteer took care of this dog - from March to May, we had already done all the vaccinations, and I was looking for a transporter. But when I was in the hospital, the dog died. It seems to me that she saved me. Her name was Donna. Right after the hospital, I finally adopted a dog, a stray, and he also pulled me out of a dark place - an all-white dog. I named him Angel (with the stress on the first syllable) or just Casper. I believe in angels, and I believe that all our animals are our angels - it's very symbolic to me.
