WE WANTED CHILDREN SO MUCH
In 2000, I came to Cyprus to be with my young man, with whom we lived happily for almost 10 years. We dreamed of having children. But in my youth, I underwent a serious operation, and after that, I had no chance of natural conception. We turned to IVF. While I was going through the preparation, I found out that a huge number of women dream of becoming mothers, just like me, and also turn to IVF, not for the first or second time. We were very lucky! Thanks to IVF, God, and our doctors, our dream came true on the first attempt. Our long-awaited twins were born. They are now 17 years old. Our daughter is a copy of her father, even her eyebrow is raised in the same way. With the arrival of children, life took on new meaning.
DEATH
But our happiness was short-lived. We planned a grand family celebration for the second birthday of our little ones, which coincided with the New Year holidays. We brought our parents to Cyprus, invited our closest friends to the celebration, but it was not meant to be. The day before the holiday, the father of our children left us. A common cold led to serious heart complications, and he could not be saved. I still have questions that I cannot find answers to. A few days before this, a heart-shaped frame with our photo fell and broke in our house. I tried to push away negative thoughts, but the worst happened, we lost him.
We were young, we made grand plans that were not meant to be. That day, my life was divided into before and after. I felt like I was in a fog, time passed very slowly. My first thought was to leave everything and go. But thanks to the care of my parents, friends, neighbors, and even strangers, I decided to stay. Help came from everywhere. Little by little. Someone brought diapers, someone brought fruits from their garden, someone paid our rent, someone gave us a car on full service. Thanks to these people, I found hope, faith, and strength to continue living.
DAD IS AN ANGEL NOW
I tried to keep myself busy to the maximum, but evenings were very difficult. The children were small, they didn't really understand what was going on, so I told them that their dad was now an angel. They say that children can see souls up until the age of three, and it's true. My daughter occasionally said that she saw her dad and waved her little hand to him. And I cried into my pillow, but I understood that I couldn't give up - there were children who needed to be raised.
BIRD
I believe in the transmigration of souls. Once I heard a chirping coming from the room, went inside, and there was a hawk sitting on the windowsill. I shooed it away, but for several days it kept flying back and perching on the roof. One evening, as I was hanging laundry out on the balcony, I felt something staring at me. It was the bird. Unexpectedly, I started talking to it, and the words came naturally: "Have you come to see how I'm living here? Everything is good!" That night, I dreamt that my late husband was still alive and telling me, "Keep on living! Whatever you've planned to do, go for it!" Soon after that, we moved to a new place, and a new life began: work, studies, new acquaintances, friends, and neighbors. I got married again but became disappointed in the man. This was followed by another shock: a divorce that coincided with a diagnosis.
ONCOLOGY
I underwent regular checkups, and everything was fine. But apparently, my body had been weakened by the shocks and could not take it anymore. And once again, a miracle happened in my life. They caught the villain at an early stage.
I went through 30 rounds of radiotherapy, which left a scar and a burn on my chest. I felt very weak and exhausted. My children knew what I was going through, and they were very supportive. My loved ones who were there for me at that time did not let me give up. On the other hand, many of my friends disappeared. I realized that in such situations, it is important not to give up, to believe in oneself and the power of medicine, not to listen to anyone, to trust the doctors, and to believe in one's recovery.
HERE AND NOW
Now I understand that I have to take everything life offers. My children's father did not know that he would never come back from the hospital. He called his friends, wanting to say something to them, but they replied, "We're at work now. We'll come and talk later." Nobody will ever know what he wanted to say. Now I write down what I want in life and how I want it. I live here and now.
I have definitely become stronger thanks to the people who have been there for me and still are. I am very grateful to them. Everything I have is here on this wonderful island – my home, my life.
I sometimes feel down, but I know how to recover: take a walk in the woods, go to the sea, stroll across the Venetian bridges. I once traveled to Italy with a friend, without the children, and enjoyed it very much. It was a great rest, and I was able to recover. I believe in the power of words and thoughts, so I don't dwell on negative things. We have so much strength within us. God doesn't give us tests that we can't handle. I'm grateful to everyone who has crossed my path in life. Some for their help and support, others for their example, and still others for the lessons they taught me. And to a few, I'm just grateful.
